Everyone’s A Critic: an Idiot’s Guide to Reviewing

In the old days, only the very brave or the very stupid dared enter the arena of literary criticism. To criticise a person’s work required a measure of caution, and critics have often been the butt of satire and ridicule.

Nowadays, though, almost everyone wants to be a critic, and thoughts and opinions are freely expressed on a bewildering wide variety of subjects. The internet makes it easy, of course; but the advantages of easy access and instant response can sometimes be outweighed by the vast numbers of people out there whose opinions are maybe too freely given, without a great deal of knowledge or thought.

Professional critics are often no better; many have personal axes to grind, and sometimes reveal more about themselves in a review than about the book they are reviewing. Some are simply failed writers who resent the achievements of others. Some are intellectually insecure, and believe (in much the way cannibals once believed that eating an enemy’s brain would make them smarter) that rubbishing a colleague’s work will somehow increase their own success.

But perhaps we shouldn’t judge them too harshly. Critics get so little support. There are so many critics out there telling writers what to do, but so few writers who return the favour.

And so, in the spirit of friendly co-operation, here are my suggested guidelines on how to be a successful critic. They are not entirely serious – and yet, if everyone kept to them, the world of literature would probably be a wiser, friendlier, happier place…

1. Make sure you actually read the book before you express an opinion. It’s surprising how many so-called critics just use the book blurb (or worse, someone else’s review) as the basis for their own. And do read it all the way through – others will notice when you don’t.

2. Don’t make personal comments. Whatever you may think of the book, its author is a real person, with feelings just like yours. Besides, you may end up sitting next to them at an awards ceremony some day…

3. Be as fair and unprejudiced as you can. Ignore reputations, good or bad, and judge each book on its own merits.

4. Don’t compare apples and oranges. Don’t expect a sci-fi epic to read like Anna Karenina.

5. Don’t use a review slot as an excuse to write about yourself and your life. That’s what your blog space is for.

6. Don’t blame the author for being himself. If you don’t like horror fiction, then you have no business reviewing a horror novel.

7. Never be too dismissive. There is no such thing in publishing as a totally worthless book. Whether you liked it or not, bear in mind that it takes a lot of work, expertise, effort, manpower and money to get any book onto the shelves, and for a reviewer then to simply dismiss it as “bad” just makes him (or her) sound crass at best, or (at worst) plain stupid.

8. Don’t pretend to read the author’s mind, or jump to conclusions about what he thinks. It’s all too easy to assume that an author’s voice is the same as that of his characters. Most of the time, however, it’s not. Otherwise, all crime writers would be in jail…

9. Remember that your review can reveal as much about you as it can about the author in question. Most people don’t want to be revealed as stupid, spiteful, pompous or bitchy. Strangely, this rarely deters reviewers.

10. And finally – if you don’t know enough about a subject, be brave enough to admit it. You don’t have to have an opinion on everything, or speak when you have nothing to say. In fact, you will sometimes earn more respect by not reviewing something at all.

 

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